Mill Hill NW7ers 7 v 0 Kinloss

Match Report

On nest jamais si bien servi que par soi-même.

Litteral translation, “if you want something done properly, do it yourself” May I start this note by apologising for my abject failure to deliver a match report before now. The honest truth is that our last game against Kinloss was played in a temperature of approximately minus 2 degrees celcius. The combination of the freezing cold, a lack of exercise, the impending Christmas holidays and a few late nights playing cards meant that I caught a vicious case of Edgwarian man-flu after the game. Man-flu is serious business. This put me and my journalistic brain out of action for a few days, which then ran into Christmas, which ran into January, which ran into the Euro crisis, to Celebrity Big Brother, to the World Economic Forum in Davos and now the news that Heidi Klum and Seal are to split. It’s been a busy and emotional time for us all.

However, conscious that our great team are once again throwing themselves into the breach this Sunday night, in the name of United synagogue football combat, I figure I’d better remind you of our glorious victory against the might of Kinloss.

Qui-est ce Kinloss?

They might have a massive statue of a naked lady, but we in Mill Hill have a 12 foot wooden cross next to Pizza Express ready for the re-legalisation of crucifixion. We are not bitter, we are simply better. In 2011? Better than Kinloss, better than Muswell Hill, better than Pinner, better than Radlett, better than Bournemouth Reform, Finchley Liberal or Catford old people’s home (for now…).

Let the headline read - Seasonal cheer sees NW7 finish 2011 on a high

recollection, we won 7-0. Crosses were all over the place (it was three days before Christmas) but I remember clearly that they could deal with neither our height, nor our speed, nor our superior resources of substitutions, nor the weather. Not much really. NW7 marksmen ranged new members (Mr Novick) to the gaffer (Mr Zeital), with trusted wingers, strikers and midfield maestros and legends in between. No need for Mill Hill to recall its retired members the main shul on this occasion then… Alas I am sorry to those I have not named in person for their contribution on the night, but let’s be honest, when the allies sent balls over the top to play the Gerries in no-mans-land on Christmas day, there was no post-match report and in depth analysis Gary Neville on Sky Sports HD 3D; football was the winner; football is always the winner. May football be the winner on Sunday.

Allez les citoyens? Mill Hill ne sest pas fait en un jour

Dan Reinhold